As I paced between the TV in my bedroom where I was organizing my closet and folding laundry to the big TV in the living room where I was nervously squishing Lu, I couldn’t help but get a little emotional watching the 2018 TCS New York Marathon. To many, this is the race that wraps up their season. To some, this is the last race of their career (Peter Ciaccia and possibly Shalane Flanagan). But to me, it made me reflect on one of the strangest seasons yet.
I’ve always been the person that spreads themselves too thin and I think this season perfectly captured that. I had planned to run a total of 9 races (3 5ks, a 5 mile, a 10k, a 15k, a half marathon and 2 marathons), however, I only ran 4 (a half turned into a 5k, another 5k, a 5 mile and a marathon). Looking back on it, that’s definitely more than I am used to doing in a given year but the training I had started last November set me up perfectly for it. I was ready to set some major PRs in the 5k and the marathon but when that didn’t happen, it was a bit discouraging (and yes, maybe they were a bit too much too soon). And once I bailed on one race, it was a whole hell of a lot easier to not show up to the next and it kind of snowballed from there.
I took a break after a rigorous marathon training schedule in May and once I tried getting back into it, everything started coming before running. I’ve had a couple sporadic runs over the past couple of months but the last time I was really in a running groove was back in June. And it’s weird because I’ve been okay with all of the things I’ve done (okay, I was definitely more than just okay going to Europe for 6 weeks and am beyond thrilled to be the new Mrs. Geske) but at the same time, it’s been hard because I feel like I’ve been missing a part of my identity. I’ve dialed back on the blogging and Instagram posts because I’m not sure what to share anymore if it’s not focused on running – that is after all, why I started Constantly and I know things are always evolving but I wasn’t sure how to bring my blog along that journey as well. Besides, it’s not like I don’t want to run, I just haven’t. When it comes time to do it, I just don’t want to. And I was scared to push myself too hard and end up getting burned out (I do have big goals of completing all 6 World Marathon Majors).
But as I watched the New York Marathon this morning, I was tired of all the excuses I had given over the past couple of months and wanted to develop a plan for 2019. Right now, group fitness classes are a huge part of my life and I’m not ready to give that up, so until post-wedding, those are going to be my main form of exercise. Beginning of the year though, I’m going to slowly get back to making running a priority. Group fitness classes will still play a role and will be used as cross-training (I stand by the fact that I was the strongest at the 2017 SeaWheeze Half Marathon because I was taking so many fitness classes focused on weight-lifting). I simply hope to complete a spring half marathon and a fall marathon – I have a few ideas of the races I want to run in but it will also depend on how a few things play out, so I’ll hold off on saying what they are for right now.
The moral of this post is really just an accountability thing for myself. Another reason I started this blog was to keep myself in line during the hard weeks of marathon training (the support of all of you + the running community was and still is unbelievable) so I’m going back to that mentality that if I write it down, it will come true. And also just a reminder that it’s going to be okay to anyone that has also felt a little lost. Take your time and you will fall back into place, either exactly where you left off or in an even better position.